Bride Feuding With Brother After Picking Friend’s Kid for Flower Girl Instead of Real Niece
A bride on Reddit is feeling conflicted after choosing her best friend's daughter to be the flower girl at her wedding instead of her own 5-year-old niece, i.e. her brother's daughter.
"[My brother and his wife] assumed Emma would automatically be the flower girl in my wedding. The issue is that I have asked my best friend's daughter Hannah to be the flower girl instead. Hannah's mom is my maid of honor and she is like family to me.
When I told my brother and [sister-in-law] that Hannah will be the flower girl, they got really upset. They said I'm choosing friends over family and breaking their little girl's heart by not giving her this special role," the woman wrote.
"I tried to explain that I've known Hannah her whole life too and it's a sweet full-circle moment to have her in the wedding. We have a very special connection that I don't have like this with Emma, even though I love Emma too. But my brother said I'm a selfish aunt and setting a bad precedent in our family. Now they don't want Emma involved at all," the bride continued her post.
"My parents think I should have just let both girls be flower girls to keep the peace," she added — a "cool idea" she admitted she hadn't thought of previously. However, when she brought the idea up to her brother, he declined and said he and his wife don't want their daughter "to do it anymore at all."
READ MORE: Bride Flees Own Wedding After Sister-in-Law Throws 'Tantrum’
In the comments section, reactions to the bride's story were mixed.
"Your brother was out of line trying to dictate who should be in your wedding party. And his little temper tantrum now is even more out of line. My suggestion is stop trying to smooth anything over. You did nothing wrong. You don't owe him any apology. You don't have to go running after him begging him to let your niece be in the wedding, or for them to come, or anything," one user commented.
"I'm torn because it is very much your choice and they were definitely too pushy. Should not have told their daughter about it before you asked them, and should have accepted the no (even if that meant viewing you differently). But it does feel odd that you didn't think to make them both flower girls or think of another role on your own. That seems like such an obvious solution to have them both do it," another wrote.
"It's a little odd you say you're close to both your best friend's little girl and your niece, yet it never occurred to you to make both kids flower girls. Especially as that's normal for western weddings. This makes me suspect that behind their poor communication and immaturity, maybe your brother and his wife feel there has been favoritism from you for a while," someone else weighed in.
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