Prince Harry Details the Night That Meghan Markle Considered Taking Her Own Life
On Friday (May 21), the Duke of Sussex spoke about his wife's struggle with suicidal ideation on his and Oprah Winfrey's new Apple TV+ series, The Me You Can’t See.
Markle first revealed that she was struggling with suicidal thoughts during the couple's explosive sit-down interview with Winfrey back in March. At the time, Markle said that she was struggling with royal life and the constant media scrutiny.
Content warning below // suicide
Markle told her husband that she was contemplating suicide on January 16, 2019, before their scheduled charity event at Royal Albert Hall. Harry revealed that it was the loss of Harry's mother and her pregnancy with baby Archie that made her reconsider.
"The thing that stopped her from seeing it through was how unfair it would be on me after everything that had happened to my mum and to now be put in a position of losing another woman in my life, with a baby inside of her, our baby," Harry explained. "The scariest thing for her was her clarity of thought. She hadn’t ‘lost it,' she wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t self-medicating, be it through pills or through alcohol. She was absolutely sober. She was completely sane. Yet in the quiet of night, these thoughts woke her up."
Harry also admitted that he was "somewhat ashamed" of how he handled the situation.
"Because of the system that we were in and the responsibilities and the duties that we had, we had a quick cuddle, and then we had to get changed and had to jump in a convoy with a police escort and drive to the Royal Albert Hall for a charity event and then step out into a wall of cameras and pretend as though everything is okay," he continued. "There wasn’t an option to say, ‘You know what? Tonight we’re not going to go.' Because just imagine the stories that come from that."
Harry recalled that his wife began to cry the moment the lights went down for the show. He shared that he was angry with himself, as they were stuck with their royal obligations at the time. Above all else, Harry was scared of "history repeating itself," similar to the media scrutiny that his mother Princess Diana faced which ultimately led to her death.
"Do I have any regrets? Yeah. My biggest regret is not making more of a stance earlier on in my relationship with my wife and calling out the racism when I did," he said, per People. "History was repeating itself. My mother was chased to her death while she was in a relationship with someone that wasn't white and now look what's happened. You want to talk about history repeating itself, they're not going to stop until [Meghan] dies."
If you or someone you know needs help, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 800-273-TALK (8255).