A public Facebook post made by Texas man Jefferson Francis details all of the tongue-in-cheek reasons why someone may reconsider moving here or visiting at all.

Some Texans are getting a little bit tired of the outsiders coming here in droves and expanding into our little piece of the world. If you're one of those people, you will certainly enjoy what Jefferson has to say:

There is so much going on there that it's hard to say which part is the best, but...it's certainly all 100 percent true. Stay in California where it's safe and the weather stays 70 degrees year-round. You'll never make it here.

Jefferson didn't even mention the fact that we don't have cars and everyone rides horses to school and work, which is a totally pain in the ass.

The comments on his satirical post were hilarious, too.

"You forgot the flying tarantulas..." said one commenter, to which Jefferson replied, "it's weird and frightening! They must have mated with the tarantula hawks. All I know is...I'm afraid to go outside."

Another person said, "No snakes, not a problem," but Jefferson set them straight on that by telling them, "Brother, the snakes have been coming out of the woodwork. They are everywhere!....they are carrying a new species of flesh-eating worms. I wouldn't eat one...hell, you can't see the eggs, and when they hatch inside your intestines, it's all over but the crying."

Thanks for the laughs, dude!

And don't forget to remind people that this is still the Wild West. I mean honestly, just this morning I had to fight off several Jackalopes to even get to my car. It's a mess here. You're better off staying home. We have things under control.

Throwback: See Texas Tech in 1947

 

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